Day 1..

Tuesday Major: Vinayak Bajaj เอาชนะ The Mint ใน Adda 52 Vaibhav Bhatia ชนะ Voyager Tourney

I fucked up. 2 months of no gambling and relapsed today. It feels like I got to this point on some kind of autopilot, convincing myself I’d just try to play a hundred bucks or so, no redeposits. of course I lost the100 and then deposited 200 -> 300 -> 500 and so on until I felt like nothing mattered, and now I’m broke, again. This happens every time I relapse, I just play everything hoping to win it back while promising myself and the universe I’ll never play again if I win it back. Another self exclusion sent, but it doesn’t take long to find another site I’m not banned myself yet from if or when this happens again. I don’t know what to do. And I don’t want to tell my wife or my family, I would wish to fix this mess on my own and not pour my problems onto them, they have their own stuff to deal with.. gambling is just so stupid I don’t think they would understand why someone wants to light their money on fire time and time again. I’ve looked into different blocklists now and the best sounding thing was “gamstop”, but that’s only available for uk residents or something. Apps seem too easy to get around. There’s many day 1 posts here and they don’t really give me any hope, it’s just people relapsing again and again, I’ve been relapsing for a couple of years. I’m at a loss. I’ve gone through all these emotions before swearing I’ll never play again cause all it causes is incredible agony, but after some random time period a switch flips and I can’t think rationally, engaging autopilot and then I’m back at it. It’s happened so many times I’m starting to seriously wonder if I’ll ever be able to stop gambling. Not sure what I hope to accomplish writing my thoughts out here either, but it felt good to leave this shit in the ether, even anonymously. Fuck my life. submitted by /u/Gambling2021 [comments]

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